Why I Can’t Get a Job on oDesk


 

A while ago, I made a rant (post) about nice guys finishing last and how that affects me. Oh, I got over that particular situation. But the base premise still holds.

A friend tipped me to oDesk — a venue designed just for reclusive introverts like myself! You post your resume, you look for jobs, you do jobs — all from your own chair at your own desk in your own home. I mean, this is the greatest thing since Kagi introduced a service to take world-wide payments for digital content back in… well, sometime in the 90’s.

So I’ve been looking to get some writing/editing jobs for a few hours a week. Fixing typos? Bad grammar? Oh, those pesky commas! I’m all over that. But I’ve been paging through the new creative writing jobs and things are just looking bleak all over.

THE FOLLOWING EXAMPLES ARE PARAPHRASED AND DO NOT REPRESENT ANY ACTUAL JOBS POSTED ON ODESK.

You see, there’s this integrity thing I have. Jobs like “write 500 customer testimonials about our product — we’ll give you the keywords to use” just seem…. oh, “unethical”, to me. Aren’t actual customers supposed to write customer testimonials? I guess not. That’s “marketing” to most folks.

There’s jobs where the employer has set up several dozen/hundred usernames/email addresses, and your job is to go post comments over several dozen/hundred forums. Or write 150 blog posts for them/about them. Or go comment on 150 blog posts per hour, using keywords they give you.

I swear… I’ll never believe another thing I read on the web again :X

Then there’s the ones that go… “Take each and every word in each and every sentence in a 600 word article, and change it to a synonym so that every single word is different, but it says exactly the same thing.” Plagiarism by synonym. Oh, except for the employers who own the copyright to the original text they want you to “spin” for them.

How would that work exactly? I don’t even think it is possible. For example, I will now attempt to do that on this paragraph, here.

“In what manner will such labor, precicely? This one doesn’t yet believe the thing be able to exist. In order to achieve a pattern or model, this one shall at this time try performing such upon that group of sentences, in this place.” (Thank goodness for dictionary.com!)

Does that even make SENSE!?!?!? Okay, see… this is why I can’t apply for these fool jobs.

Again, I blame my parents. I could be making the bucks, here, but oh no… I have to go and have integrity. I am not cut out to be a marketer. Which I knew from day zero, honestly! But why are all these “commercial” items under “creative” writing? I mean… commercial art and fine art are two separate subjects! Why not creative writing and… this stuff?

 


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One Response to “Why I Can’t Get a Job on oDesk”

  1. bloodsong Says:

    Did you think I was joking when I made silly examples of “replace every word in a document with a synonym”? THIS IS ACTUAL SPAM I received, right here on WordPress. Tell me this isn’t doctored with synonyms!
    “… Click on the Save within tilt pointer for you to navigate to the push or perhaps directory during which to help retail store the document. Kind a reputation to the file cabinet inside the Computer filename field. On the Make unnecessary equally sort dropdown, choose the kind of document necessary. Press Help save.In order to resave folders using the same epithet, push Control + Second, or perhaps click on the Conserve ikon around the Instant access Alexa toolbar or click the Report tab, subsequently from the Offstage view, click Make unnecessary….”

    Yes, retail store the document, indeed! From the offstage view. And click “Make Unnecessary.” Gotta love that button!


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