I have been very depressed all this week. And I’m really annoyed, because I took my meds five days last week!
As for my meds, I take St John’s Wort herbal supplement. I have been trying to work out a maintenance dose of this for me. I started taking it once a week — that didn’t work, then twice a week… I’m up to Mon/Wed/Fri.
A lot of times, I get manic and I don’t need as much dosage, but I do need it fairly regularly. Hench the ‘maintenance’ dose, and the boosters when I feel a mood crash coming on.
A lot of people really don’t understand depression (though my mom tells me there’s tons of commercials about it nowadays….!). I say I’m depressed, and people ask me what I’m depressed about. There isn’t really any answer to that. Oh, I could FIND something — anybody can! Here’s an experiment… Make a list of 5 things you wish were better in your life. Or, 5 things you wish you had done (or wish you HADN’T done). See? You could be depressed about those.
I like when people say “Why are you depressed?” Cuz that answer is easy. I tell them, “Due to a chemical imbalance in my brain.” And then, they just kinda give me a quizzical, confused look.
So let me explain…. Depression is like laughing gas. You get some nitrous oxide in your bloodstream, the chemicals get into your brain, and the reaction results in the state of mind we call hilarity. Yah, you start laughing.
WHY are you laughing? Oh, you could think of something in your immediate surroundings or recent experiences that your brain chemicals will make you think is funny. But it isn’t, really. Not… THAT funny.
Depression is like that. I’m fine, or even having a good day or week, or something to be happy about… but my brain is telling me I should be crying. It’s making me feel sad and tired. The trick, of course, is to learn to ignore these signals and just carry on as if things are normal. Whatever you do, DON’T look for reasons you feel this way — as I said, you *will* find them. Just say, “Oh God, I’m SO depressed.” Maybe sing that Marvin song. (That’s always good for a laugh, too.)
And while I was writing this, the thought just occurred to me…. how come no one’s ever tried laughing gas as a ‘cure’ for depression? Or… have they? To the Google!